My mother found out where I get the money I give her, and she’s not happy
DEAR ABBY:
My mother loves giving gifts and spends a lot of time and effort choosing and beautifully wrapping presents for our family. She’s retired and living on a fixed income, yet she often showers me and my children with expensive gifts during the holidays. Soon afterward, she asks me for money because she’s short.
I’ve started returning many of her gifts and keeping the money to help her when she needs it. She discovered this and becomes very angry, but she refuses to reduce her spending. To her, these are completely separate issues.
I can’t refuse her requests for money because she needs it for rent and groceries. How can I help her see that the most meaningful gift she could give would be to stay within her means, so I wouldn’t feel obligated to repay her for the things she buys us?
— NO MORE GIFTS