Dear Prudence,
My wife and I are almost 30: We’ve been friends since we were about 12, a couple since 18, and married since 22. Neither of us has ever dated anyone else, but now I’m thinking it might be that time.
My wife had her gallbladder removed four years ago. Her doctor gave her a long list of foods to avoid which she has completely ignored. She continues to consume large amounts of dairy … a big glass of full-fat milk at breakfast and another with dinner, butter and cheese on everything, ice cream almost daily … as well as greasy pizza and fast food, fried food, red meat, and baked goods. She has always been prone to digestive issues but now has extremely foul, explosive diarrhea about five or six times a day. We live in a small apartment where I can’t avoid hearing and smelling it, even if she has time to close the bathroom door, which she doesn’t always. Our bathroom is permanently nasty and it’s not me. She laughs at and insults me for being grossed out. She has messed herself at work and instead of being mortified tells everyone about it like it’s a joke. The end result is a total loss of any desire I might still have had for sexual relations with her. We have not had sex in almost two years and she seems completely fine with that.
For the longest time she just got mad any time I’d suggest her diet may be causing her issues. Just now she finally blew up at me, and said that she knows it is, she just loves food too much to change her habits and isn’t ever going to. I am staggered, disgusted, and baffled. I just can’t fathom how anyone would knowingly choose to live like this. Would I be justified in leaving someone who has no regard for her health and deliberately makes herself repulsive?
—Done-a-rhea
https://slate.com/advice/2024/11/dear-prudence-digestive-disgust.html