DEAR ABBY: I have been dating “Paul” for several years. He lives about an hour away, and we see each other a few weekends a month. I know he loves me. A few months ago, his dog suddenly died from cancer. It was traumatic because “Bruiser” was his best friend.
Paul has been different since Bruiser’s death. He has zero interest in anything physical. To me, touch is important — not just sex. There’s shared intimacy in holding someone’s hand or kissing. I feel like a plant that’s wilting with no sun. I know Paul is struggling, but I don’t know how to help him through. We talked about it once, but other than acknowledging he’s struggling, he has done nothing further.
I don’t want to force the issue, but time is precious. I know what it’s like to struggle with depression, and I recognize the signs, but he won’t get help. How can I support him through this and get over my selfishness? — IN THE DARK IN NEW YORK