Dear Abby,
I think I might be a little misunderstood. I’m (happily) aromantic and I love to flirt. Men, women, doesn’t matter. Flirting is just fun for me; it’s teasing, joking, and affectionate, and I don’t take it as a cue for romance. I’ve known I’m aromantic since I was about 15, and now, in college, I have a group of friends I really care about, and yes, I flirt with them. One friend in particular, “Joe,” flirts back, and we have a lot of laughs.
Here’s the thing: one of my friends recently told me that some people are sick and tired of constant flirting and making everything sexual. That made me pause. I don’t want to upset anyone or make them uncomfortable, but at the same time, this playful, teasing side of me feels like a core part of who I am. I’ve tried being upfront about being aromantic, but I still worry that my humor and affection come across as romantic interest or mixed signals.
So, my question is: how can I keep my personality and my playful banter without crossing lines or making people feel uncomfortable, especially when I don’t even seek romance? I want to be myself, but I also want to respect my friends’ boundaries.
—Flirt Without Strings