Dear Abby,
I’m writing because I feel stuck in a life that never really became mine.
I went to college for restaurant and hotel management and later earned a culinary degree. This wasn’t because I had a burning passion for the field, but because my parents insisted that I go to college and choose something “practical.” At the time, I trusted their judgment more than my own and believed things would eventually fall into place.
They didn’t.
I never truly did anything with the education I worked so hard to earn. Sure, I managed a couple of fast-food restaurants, but honestly, any high school kid could have done that. Meanwhile, my siblings followed a very different trajectory. They married, had children, built careers, and now appear to live what most people would call successful, well-rounded lives. Family gatherings make that contrast impossible to ignore.
As for me, I’ve ended up with what feels like no life at all. I spend far too much time online, often just trolling for human contact because it’s the closest thing I have to real interaction. It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s where I am.
I’m angry, and a lot of that anger is directed at my parents. I feel they should have questioned my choices more, or at least noticed that I wasn’t suited for the path they pushed me toward. Instead, they supported a career direction that clearly wasn’t right for me, and now I’m the one left to deal with the consequences.
Here’s my question: How do you get over this level of regret when you feel it’s too late to start over? How do you stop blaming your parents, your upbringing, and your past decisions when your present feels so empty by comparison?
I don’t know how to move forward, and I don’t know how to make peace with the life I didn’t build.
— Feeling Left Behind