Dear Advice,
My girlfriend and I have been together for two years, and things have generally been great — until this month, when she gave me an ultimatum: either I give up hunting, or she walks away.
Every year, my best friend and I spend the opening weekend of deer season at a small cabin we built on his family’s land. It’s the only time I hunt, and it’s something I look forward to all year. That weekend isn’t just about hunting — it’s also about reconnecting with my oldest friend and spending time outdoors.
My girlfriend told me she can’t be with someone who kills animals. I tried to explain that hunting helps manage the deer population and provides a more ethical source of meat than industrial farming.
Despite her objections, I went hunting this year and harvested a buck. She was furious — wouldn’t speak to me for three days. Now she’s saying that unless I give up hunting for good, she’s leaving me. She insists that if I really cared about her feelings, I’d stop.
I do care about her feelings, deeply. But I also feel like giving up something that’s meaningful to me — especially something I do responsibly — would be wrong.
How do I handle this without losing either her or myself?
— Conflicted in Binghamton