My husband and i have a beautiful relationship of almost 10 years but due to circumstances we have been through a lot. our bond is very good, at least thats what i thought.
a while ago i found out that he has a lot of contact with a female colleague, and i mean really flirt. i looked in his phone and read all the conversations. he calls her beautiful, dances with her at a company party and from what I read they provoke each other at work, of course I indicated this and confronted him he said that this was only friendly and that he didn’t mean anything by it and also found it annoying that I looked at his phone, we had a good conversation and he indicated that he would take my feelings into account and not contact her anymore.
I had my peace and it was okay, now two weeks ago my husband was acting very strange with his phone, took it everywhere with him (normally he leaves it lying around in the open) so I felt suspicious, I looked at his phone again and it turned out that he never stopped sending messages, jokes were made about a Christmas party and the “memories” of that party. I looked in his translate because she is foreign and he even makes an effort to speak her language, I was hurt by this and because of that our relationship was hanging by a thread.. many conversations later and after expressing my feelings he indicated that the priority really lies with me. well… he keeps in touch the same way, only now he has muted her whatsapp messages, changed his password and deleted her messages which again do not seem friendly.
i read this again and i don’t know what to do, i don’t want to admit that i looked in his phone, but when i ask him he is just not honest with me and this hurts me a lot.. so what should i do confront him, gather more evidence confront him and break up i don’t know anymore… i know its bad to look through his phone but my gut feeling didnt go away.. because when I want to talk to him about it he wants to go into it as little as possible because he doesn’t want a discussion, he acts like I’m jealous of a friendship which it clearly isn’t!
AITA?