AITA for refusing to give up my dog for my fiancé’s allergic daughter?
I (34F) have a golden retriever, Max. He’s been with me for seven years, and he’s more than a pet—he’s family. My fiancé, Tim (37M), recently moved in with his 9-year-old daughter, Emily. Emily is severely allergic to dogs. Not the “take a Benadryl and you’re fine” kind—she breaks out in hives and has serious breathing issues.
Tim knew I had Max from the start, and when we were dating, he swore it wouldn’t be a problem because they didn’t live with me. But now that they’ve moved in, it’s a constant issue. Emily’s allergy flares up every time she’s here, and now Tim’s demanding I rehome Max “for her safety.”
I’ve suggested every compromise I can think of: keeping Max out of her room, constant deep cleaning, investing in air purifiers, even boarding Max part-time when Emily is over. But none of it is good enough. Tim says I need to “put Emily first” and get rid of Max completely. He also made it clear that if I don’t, we might need to rethink the wedding.
I told him flat-out that I’m not rehoming Max. I love Tim and Emily, but Max is family, and I’m not dumping him like an old piece of furniture. Tim says I’m selfish and “not ready to be a stepmom.” His family has piled on, saying I’m prioritizing a dog over a child, and now I’m the villain of the week. My friends are split—some agree with me, others think I’m being heartless.
Am I the Asshole?