WIBTA for putting my foot down about my husband’s bathroom time?
My husband takes forever to poop – never less than 45 minutes, usually more like an hour. And this happens 1-3 times EVERY SINGLE DAY. We are constantly late to everything because he procrastinates getting ready and then will not skip his long, luxurious pooping time. We will be in the middle of an at-home date night and then he vanishes to poop and I’m sitting there twiddling my thumbs. When we argue about it, he sometimes claims he has to sit there that long to “get it all out” and then when I tell him he needs to go to a doctor, he says well a lot of it is just playing on his phone (duh.) One time we were on vacation and the wifi didn’t work in the bathroom, and his poops were only 10-20 minutes which by contrast was AMAZING. He refuses to try anything to limit his bathroom time – fiber, probiotics, seeing a doctor, changing his diet, setting a timer, etc.
Anyway. This leads us to today. I’m currently pregnant and also have a badly sprained ankle so I’m hobbling around on either crutches or a rolling office chair. And our house has multi-stories so I’m mostly confined to the main level with the living room, bedroom, and bathroom. He did a great job of taking care of me on Day 1, I’ll admit. Day 2 he had to work but I managed with the help of a friend coming over. He went out after work instead of coming straight home so I had to crawl down the stairs and across the room to let the dogs out which was difficult and painful. I let that go. This morning I wanted to let him sleep in because when he went to bed he mentioned he felt sleep deprived. Finally I hear him get up and I’m relieved because I need food, water, and the dogs need to go out. But guess what happens?!!?!?!? Yep, he heads to the bathroom. I text him that I need food and water and he says “be there in a few” but did not come down for an hour. By this point I had to give up on waiting for him because due to pregnancy, I was getting so hungry I was nauseous and I really could not wait. I had to drag my rolling chair down the stairs with me to the kitchen so I could take care of the dogs and myself.
I’m so disappointed and feel so let down because no matter how many times I tell him his insistence on spending so much time in the bathroom is really inconvenient and frustrating, he does not care. I feel like I can’t rely on him to take care of me, and I’m very concerned about when the baby comes – is he going to keep leaving me alone to care for the baby so he can play games in the bathroom?
I don’t know exactly what putting my foot down looks like, but I currently do not feel like talking to him and I honestly want to set some kind of boundary about his bathroom habits. I just can’t take it anymore. Would I be an Asshole for giving him an ultimatum? FTR he does not have Chrohn’s, Colitis, or anything like that.
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