AITA calling my girlfriend selfish for refusing to learn sign-language for my daughter
My daughter Ruby was born mute. She can understand words, but we use sign language to communicate. While she can use her phone or write, obviously she prefers to sign.
The issue is my girlfriend, Amanda. We’ve been dating for around 9 months, and introduced our children around 3 months ago. They don’t know sign language so communication with Ruby was awkward at first, she hates having to write or use her phone at home. So I taught Amanda some basic signs beforehand, and I’ve continued teaching her and Mia more in this time. Mia is getting a lot better actually.
But Amanda has apparently decided it’s too hard and refuses to learn any more. She says that it’s ‘unnecessary’ since Ruby can understand her and communicate other ways. While Ruby is usually willing to do that for them, she doesn’t enjoy it and finds it frustrating. I told Amanda she’s being selfish and lazy. That it’s not fair to put all the effort on Ruby. It’s one thing if she doesn’t get it after years, but it’s only been a few months. It’s just ridiculous. We got into a fight over it and she basically called me an asshole and said it’s not her fault she struggles with it. But that doesn’t mean just give up. If she wants to be in our life it’s the bare minimum effort to put in.
I clearly think she’s just being selfish, while she thinks I’m an asshole and unfair. I vented to my brother and he agreed with Amanda. That I can’t force her to learn and not everyone is good with language. And that Ruby doesn’t ‘need’ it and I’m ‘coddling her’. I’m honestly still pissed off but I do love Amanda. She’s normally thoughtful and kind, and I guess it’s possible it’s just me being overprotective of Ruby. I think it’s a reasonable expectation, but I’m starting to doubt myself
Am I the Asshole?
