One woman has taken to a Reddit post to explain the situation about her terminally ill ex-husband wanting to see her before he dies. The problem she faces is her current husband not wanting her to do it and threatens divorce if she does.
When a person grieves over an ex-spouse or ex-partner, it is “disenfranchised grief,” which means that it is not necessarily legitimate in society, according to Kenneth J. Doka, a bereavement expert. This may be the case of the woman in the post who seems to still care about her ex-husband.
My ex-husband and I got divorced 3 years ago. We didn’t have kids although we wanted them so badly. We knew each other for over 10 years and we had been through so much together. He helped me out when my family abandoned me and quit his job to move with me. He even helped me get my degree.She goes on to say that she didn’t want them to get divorced but said that he initiated the divorce because he didn’t want to become a burden to her after being diagnosed with his medical condition.
As pointed out by TheKnot.com, many traditional wedding ceremonies of different faiths and religions and non-religious civil ceremonies have vows that include staying together even in sickness and health among other promises. But, the poster indicates that this was not the case in her first marriage, by her ex-husband’s doing.
Now, she states that he has become very sick and asked to see her, which she says likely will be for the last time. But her current husband is not having it. She states:
My current husband got extremely upset with me when I mentioned it to him and threatened to divorce me if I go. I’m 5 months pregnant and feel like I’m seeing a side of my now husband that I never seen before. He called this inappropriate and that my ex was being manipulative. He told me he’d divorce me if I see him but this could be my last chance to say goodbye to him.
I can’t even imagine how terrible it’d feel if he passes away without seeing him for the last time but there’s a lot at stake here and I don’t wanna sneak behind my husband’s back.
Some may say that what she should do in this case is a matter of opinion and some may say that her obligation is to her current husband as a matter of fact.
