While the holidays are the most joyous time of the year for many people, for others, it can be the most miserable — especially those with ignorant, bigoted families. One young transgender girl is trying to get this through her dad’s head, and while she didn’t have resounding success on her own, Reddit fully has her back.
The girl’s father took to Reddit to explain his predicament, which is really just a long-winded tale of ignorance on his part. He begins by explaining, “My daughter and I have had our fair share of difficulties. We get along better now, but since I don’t see her as often as I’d like to, the times when we do see each other [are] important. She usually celebrates Christmas with my family since her mom is an agnostic Jew, and it’s an important time for us.”
The dad continues, “My daughter was previously my son and came out as transgender to me two years ago. I honestly blame the last Christmas she spent with my family for her telling her mother so long before me. I think she has been uncomfortable with my family and missed the past few years because my family reacted badly about her coming out as being attracted to men (she doesn’t want to be called gay now, as in she sees herself as a straight girl) the last Christmas she celebrated with us.”
Reddit is getting frosty with one dad who wants to ‘cancel’ Christmas because of his misbehaving daughter. https://t.co/72Q7vPh7OI
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) December 12, 2022
Okay, so we don’t love the whole “she sees herself as a straight girl” phrasing. She IS a straight girl. It’s so damaging to the trans community to deny individuals of their identity. They aren’t living out some fantasy about seeing themselves a certain way; they innately ARE the person they identify with internally, even if their physical form doesn’t “match.”
“It was my mistake for telling them at all, but I didn’t know how to cope with it at the time,” the dad writes. “They were saying some things to her which weren’t right especially since she was really just a kid, and she reacted by crying and literally running out which just escalated everything. At first I was excited to have her agree to Christmas with my family again, but now I’m realizing what happened is going to be that but much worse. I don’t want to see my daughter crying again and I want to improve our relationship.”
The solution seems so obvious: If he knows his family is going to continue to be transphobic and homophobic, he should a. spend the holiday with his daughter regardless, and b. educate his family on their bigotry, and c. if they aren’t willing to learn and grow, he needs to make it clear that his daughter is his main priority, and he will always support her and her true identity, even if that means he has to write them off — because that’s what good parents do for their children.
One Reddit man is setting boundaries with his sister and her picky teens. https://t.co/eo1T9wrRdi
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) December 6, 2022
Well, spoiler alert, that’s the exact opposite of what this guy is doing. He writes, “My solution seems to be causing more issues. I was thinking I could celebrate Christmas with my family without her and then do a separate Christmas celebration with her. Edit: I even told her she could bring her boyfriend, something she would not be able to do if she went to my family’s Christmas.”
So not only is he not going to spend Christmas with his kid in favor of his bigoted family, but he also wants a pat on the back for “allowing” her to bring her boyfriend along to their rescheduled celebration, which is a wildly ignorant hetero glorification. But wait — it gets worse.
“The issue is,” he continues, “the only other days around that time that I’m free, I’m doing Christmas with my fiancée’s family, and then me and the guys (been friends since high school) have this tradition that I can’t skip.” The bros are, like, supes important because they have a high school tradition that can’t be skipped in favor of celebrating the holiday with his child, obviously. Oh, and don’t forget his fiancé either, she also takes precedence over his daughter. But keep waiting — because it gets even worse!