A man has been slammed online after saying he refused to attend a Pride event with his wife, who identifies as bisexual.
The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Kejryehe, reported the situation on Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole forum, where it received more than 7,000 upvotes and 4,400 comments, with many attributing the man to his bisexuality insulted deletion. You can find the post here.
Bisexual eradication is defined by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) as when the “existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either generally or in relation to an individual) is questioned or outright denied.”
Individuals who identify as bisexual often suffer from anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders at higher rates than their gay, lesbian, and straight peers. Bisexual individuals often have higher tobacco use and risk of heart disease than their peers.
In the now-deleted post, titled “AITA for refusing to go to a Pride event with my wife?” the 30-year-old man said he was married to a bisexual woman, 28.
“I will say up front that I am in no way homophobic or bigoted,” the post reads. “I’ve never had a problem with my wife’s identity. The thing is that she is very vocal and flashy. She has a lot of proud things and clothes and so on.”
The man said she wears rainbow patterns rather than bisexual colors, so there have been “incidents” where people don’t know he’s her husband and “think she’s just gay”.
“It’s going to be a bit exhausting, to be honest,” the post reads. “She says she doesn’t like it when people assume she’s straight just because she married a man and doesn’t want a big part of the identity she’s struggling with to be erased. Still, it feels like she’s almost ashamed of me. “
Recently, the man’s wife invited him to a Pride event, which she said was very important to her, adding that she bought him an Allied T-shirt to wear.
He said he had no issues with his wife attending the event, but that he told her no because it wasn’t his “thing” but she said it didn’t feel like he was supporting her identity.
“I responded that maybe she needs to focus less on her identity and more on her current relationship,” the post reads. “She’s been very icy with me ever since. I understand that I was probably being a little mean, but still. AITA?”
More than 4,400 users commented on the post, many calling out the man for his “homophobic” comments and for not “supporting” his wife.
“If she was ashamed of you, she wouldn’t ask you to come,” one user commented. “If anything, it sounds like YOU are ashamed of HER and want her to hide her identity. support your wife YTA.”
“She literally invited you as her spouse and ally to a very public event. That is her. This is the woman you married. Yes you should go with her and YTA,” commented another user. “If you feel unappreciated or left out of this relationship, couples counseling may be in order.”
“‘I will say that I am in no way homophobic or bigoted.’ Wait for it… “The thing is, she’s very vocal and flamboyant about it.” Aaand here’s the homophobic comment,” commented another. “OP, you are clearly troubled by your wife’s activism, even though it’s an important part of her personality and so important to her. YTA.”
“Just based on what you’ve mentioned I can say unequivocally that you don’t endorse her identity,” one user wrote. “You sound upset that she’s proud of her identity. The fact that she’s really upset about bi erasing has nothing to do with you and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s about other people devaluing her and being biphobic towards her.”