Posted For: Willie Wonka
A woman has been praised online for calling off her wedding after her fiance cancelled all the vegan food options from the menu behind her back.
In a viral Reddit post to the site’s “Am I the Assh***” forum, user SarahJake2022 outlined the alleged saga that left many pleading with her to see the “giant red flags” and get out before it was too late.
“My fiancé (31 male) and I (25 female) are getting married soon,” she wrote in the original post.
“There wasn’t much that we disagreed on during the wedding planning except for food. Me and my family are vegans and there so many reasons why we chose this lifestyle and one of them being that we have a history of health issues.
“My fiancé and his family are the complete opposite. They’re hardcore meat eaters which is fine by me obviously.”
She said she wanted to add four or five vegan options to the menu, but her fiance objected saying it was a “waste of money” and “isn’t real food”.
“I refused to argue about it and said it was final,” she wrote.
“The other day, I found out that he had cancelled all the vegan options and took them off the menu completely and behind my back. I was seething. I called him at work but he kept hanging up on me.
“I went straight to his workplace and confronted him there and just flipped out on him. He was stunned to see me. He at first said it was his mum’s idea then told me to go home because I was making a scene at the office.”
The woman described how the fight then continued at home, where her fiance “defended himself by saying that I sort of made him resort to doing this after I kept brushing off his thoughts and input and refusing to accommodate his family”.
“But there were PLENTY of meat options. Why can’t I get four or five vegan options? When I’m paying for it? He yelled that it was his wedding too, not (just) my family’s,” she wrote.
In a later update, she said his mother had messaged her to defend her son’s decision, saying it was “responsible of him to make that move because of my continual refusal to see how this stuff is a waste of money.”
“She also pointed out how I kept saying ‘I paid for it’ and said that technically this isn’t just my money, it’s mine and his because we’re getting married. She suggested I wisen up and get rid of the ‘my money, I paid for it’ mentality,” she wrote.
“She finally mentioned how ‘bad’ this whole situation is making me look and said that she and her son had already offered a number of compromises that I chose to brush off and decided to make it my ‘weird’ hill to die on.
“She said that not only her son is upset but she and ‘the family’ are as well after hearing about it and suggested I just agree on their compromise and be done with it.”
The post drew more than 3300 comments from Reddit users horrified at the story.
“For the love of God don’t marry this man,” one wrote.
“Is there a better way to start a marriage than making sure that the bride has nothing to eat on her wedding day?” another said.
“Are you sure you want to marry this man and his family? They have no respect at all for you and yours,” a third wrote.
The bride-to-be has since posted a second update to say that their talk “didn’t go well” and the wedding has been called off.
“Realising that my partner himself thinks it’s okay to steamroll my opinions and decisions simply because he’s prioritising others and their opinions over me was really upsetting and not something that could be looked past,” she said.
“I gave him back the ring and called everything off. I just couldn’t envision myself living like this any longer, having to walk on eggshells for his family and letting him basically override my opinions and have the final say no matter what.
“Marriage is about compromise and here he has nothing to lose yet chose to do this to me and my family.”
Many praised the decision.
“Good for you! Marriage IS about compromise and it doesn’t sound like your ex is interested in compromising or even letting you have a say in things. That isn’t a partnership,” one said.
Another added: “You made the right decision. Your ex isn’t ready to get married if he has to resort to going behind your back regarding the food options at your own wedding. He has a lot of growing up to do.”