Um, It Turns Out My Boyfriend and His Mom Are a Lot Closer Than I Realized


My partner “Chris” and I have been together for 6 years, and I recently learned something shocking. We were splitting a bottle of wine and started talking about things in our past that would surprise the other. Chris certainly won: He told me that he had sex several times with his own mother, “Sheila.” She had been recently divorced (from her second husband, not his father), and was going through a dry spell. They tried it once on an impulse, and both enjoyed it, so they kept doing it until the rush wore off. To put this in perspective, he was in his early 20s and she was in her early 40s. We are both in our 30s now.

Chris said that he wasn’t traumatized by the experience, and I believe him. They still have a warm relationship. Sheila is a lovely woman, and until I learned this I had no trouble seeing her as a mother-in-law. Now I feel like our relationship has completely changed. Whenever I see her, I want to blurt out that I know what they did. (Chris said that I can have a discrete conversation with her about this if I want.) The weird thing is that I feel like we are competing as women now, and she would have something over me if she knew that I knew. Does this make sense? Not to mention that Chris and Sheila violated an ancient taboo. It seems like this should bother me. My relationship my Sheila feels different, but I still feel the same about Chris. I am still thinking about marrying and raising children with him. Am I crazy?

— Not Sure About Being Mrs. Oedipus


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