This was written in 2013 with many errors but I fixed them.
Sister Maria by Donna Rae Lands (2013)
When I was 20 years old, I was a wounded soul and a battered dumb broad woman. I had returned to my apartment after spending time in a Spokane’s Woman Shelter whose location is a secret in February of 1982. I had made a solemn promise to never reveal its location. I have kept that promise. I was legally separated, but my Ex kept coming around. He slowly wormed his way back into the apartment. He kept wanting me to undo the legal separation. I couldn’t trust him. Time and time again my Ex would be nice until the next beating. He was a narcissistic psychopath is why he could never change or understand true love.
That June summer I met Sister Maria. She was Catholic nun. Sister Maria said it was important for me to become Catholic to save that worthless marriage because ex was Catholic. I so loved the Lord and wanted to do right in his eyes. At the time my dumb broad thoughts were: “Maybe the beatings were my fault because I wasn’t serving the Lord right.” You think unclear when you are a battered woman. You are damaged goods. I also wanted the beatings to stop and I had not studied Catholicism. Sister Maria lived her whole day serving God. She had a routine- Get up and say the rosary. Have breakfast and pray. Take a walk and pray. Say the rosary. Eat lunch… pray. Have tea in the afternoon and pray. Say the rosary. Tea time was usually when we would hang out for a couple hours. Sister Maria was always talking to God. She served God every waking moment. I think she served the Lord in her sleep. She taught me how to pray the rosary. She taught me what it meant to belong to the old Catholic faith, not the new Catholic faith according to Sister Maria. I went to church with her, prayed with her and served God. I read and read my bible. Ex went ballistic on my new found Catholic enlightenment. Then one day in August, I couldn’t find the hairbrush. My Jeanie(RIP-2016) had put it in the sink which was full of dishes. She was 22 months old. Ex starts pushing me and pulling my hair dragging me down the hall.
“Bitch find that fucking hairbrush.”
“I don’t know where it is, sobbing as the tears start burning and tingling as they ran down my face. I am scrambling trying to find the hairbrush. By then we are in the kitchen and he started slugging me across the face. “You fucking dumb bitch, you can’t fucking do anything right. You’re fucking worthless”. He grabs me by the arm and swings my broken spirited body across the floor. He then grabs my bible and throws it at me.
Then with the audacity of evil spite, he says to me laughingly “Ha bitch where’s where your God now”? Those were fighting words to me.
“He’s in my heart where you’ll never be”, I said sobbingly.
I got up and grabbed the babies and was going to leave. He ever so gracefully grabbed the babies from me and laid them on the floor in the living room. It’s as if it all happened in slow motion…He turned around and yanked the phone out of the wall, pushed me down on the hallway floor and wrapped the telephone cord around my neck… Squeezing ever so tightly… time stopped…While he’s strangling me, he looks at me with his dark evil ruthless eyes and says: “How’s it feel to know you’re fucking going to die?”
I start to panic and pray inside my head. “Oh Please Lord don’t let me die. I want to raise my babies. Oh Lord, please… I am sorry I am a sinner…Please, God send your angel to save me.” I started to see my comforting dream of paradise as I was losing consciousness. Then there was banging on the front door. Sister Maria didn’t wait for anybody to answer. Ex got off me as soon as Sister Maria walked in.
She started helping me with my babies. “Alright honey, you promised me we would have tea”. She had heard my screaming and the Lord told her to come help me. She looked at me ever so gracious and smiled and said: “I always do what my Lord commands because we love each other”.
You never know if you have been called to be one of God’s earth angels or if you have met one of God’s Angels. Sister Maria was my earth Angel who came to my rescue by God’s command and to the answer to my prayer. I kept her rosary until 2017. I sent it to a Christmas angel who needed it more than me. It was a relief to share that with that person. That person will never realize or understand the story behind that rosary.
God really does save you if you believe and have faith.
Merry Christmas my dear angel friends.
Just a Lady in the wilderness writing about this, that and what not.
“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”