Frozen Turkey Throw
In 2004, a New York woman was driving down the highway when a group of menacing teenagers in an oncoming car tossed a frozen turkey through her windshield. Unfortunately, the turkey weighed approximately 20 pounds, and that coupled with the speed of the cars and direct impact was enough to cause the woman’s esophagus to cave in and shatter her cheekbones and jaw. One of the teenagers, who was only 19, eventually plead guilty to second-degree assault. In the courtroom the teen broke down in tears when apologizing to her, to which she responded with “It’s okay, I just want you to make your life the best it can be.”
On Thanksgiving day in 2001, Ohio police were called to the scene of the crime by one of their own- a police dog. The dog was at home with his officer, Nandor Santho, at the time, but had stepped on a cell phone accidently calling 911, twice. The emergency operator took the dog’s whimpers to be those of a distressed woman, so the call was traced to Officer Santho’s home. Police officers entered the home in search of a distressed woman, but instead came across 150 marijuana plants hidden in Officer Santho’s basement. He was later charged with illegally manufacturing drugs.
Yucky Stuffed Yams
Four people were arrested in 2003 for attempting to transport more than $8.2 million worth of cocaine and marijuana into London. Now, for the Thanksgiving spin: the illicit drugs were stuffed inside of a bunch of yams that were being imported into the UK. All in all, the yams contained 114 pounds of cocaine and 800 pounds of marijuana.
The Turkey Mugging
As Jimmy Mulligan from Bridgeport Connecticut was walking to his friends’ house, an armed man came up and demanded the turkey and stuffing, along with his wallet and plastic bag of goodies. When he called 911, the dispatcher initially thought he was joking. However, when police arrived at the scene, they determined it was true. Dispatcher Denny Viera felt so bad for the man, she decided to help him out. She and her coworkers bought 2 turkey dinners from Boston Market and had them delivered to Mr. Mulligan.
The not-so-great beer heist
Johnny Anton Love attempted to rob a gas station in Miami Gardens, Florida on Thanksgiving Day 2013. The clerk, David Paul-Lamour, was calm and collected. He befriended the robber and told him he should help himself to some beer. Meanwhile, he secretly triggered the alarm. Love grabbed so much beer that on his way out of the store, the bags broke and cans scattered across the parking lot. When the police arrived, Love was busy trying to pick up the beer and hide the money in his clothes.
The Two Pronged Stabbing
Thanksgiving dinner can be a time of family stress, but need it go this far? Shenika Allsup of Baltimore, who was arguing at the table with half-brother Deonte Antionio Wallace, grabbed the two-pronged serving fork and jabbed it into his neck. He was taken to the hospital with minor wounds and she was charged with a salt – I mean, assault.
The “Girl Meat’ Dinner
Gilberto Valle was an NYPD officer who was arrested in 2012 because of disturbing pictures his wife found on his computer. It turns out he had a list of women he was stalking and often fantasized about cooking and eating them. In one chat room, he boasted he was going to have “girl meat” for Thanksgiving.
In spite of these disturbing conversations, a judge overturned Valle’s convictions, saying the former officer was just fantasizing. He was freed in 2014 after serving 21 months and returned to live with his mother, who promised to “cater” to his every need.
Cher Declares Thanksgiving a Crime
Outspoken actress/singer Cher doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. She tweeted her feelings about the holiday in November 2013 when asked by a follower. The pop diva says she feels the day celebrates “the beginning of a GREAT crime” against Native Americans. Cher is part Cherokee and claims the Pilgrims stole the land and gave her people smallpox.
Carjacking Stopped By Frozen Turkey
Irene Moorman Bailey was loading Thanksgiving groceries in her car when an assailant threw her to the ground at a BP gas station North Carolina. A horrified bystander grabbed the frozen turkey that Bailey had purchased and hit the man over the head with it. The man, Fred Ervin, was still able to take her car, but officers later captured him. They found him suffering from a serious head wound and took him to the hospital.
Woman Stabs Man for eating turkey while she slept
Jack-Lyn Blake was all over a jive turkey this Thanksgiving. She reportedly lost it because her boyfriend, Benjamin Smith, had begun eating their Thanksgiving Day meal without her because she was asleep. When Blake woke up and realized she had missed out on the culinary festivities, she allegedly grabbed a knife, chased Smith around the dinner table, then stabbed him. The miffed girlfriend is now facing a slew of charges including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, reckless endangerment, and making terroristic threats
Altman be praised!