Inmate Granted Parole After Court Determines Release Poses No Threat To Prison’s Bottom Line

PECOS, TX—Following a thorough evaluation to determine if he was eligible for early release, local inmate Gerald Franks, 60, was granted parole from Reeves County Detention Center Tuesday after the board determined he posed no threat to the prison’s bottom line.

“Having spent two decades in the penal system, we feel comfortable saying that Mr. Franks has done his part to keep up our revenue and we’re satisfied that his release will not cause us to go into the red,” said head parole board member Lee Brandt, telling reporters that they believed Franks had been fully rehabilitated and was unlikely to harm the prison company CEO’s paycheck.

“Obviously as part of his parole he’ll be required to check in with a compliance officer regularly to ensure that we can’t squeeze a few more bucks out of him, but if not, he’s a completely free man.”

Brandt added that Franks’ record and limited access to employment meant it was likely he’d be back making money for the detention center in a matter of weeks.

 

 

https://www.theonion.com/inmate-granted-parole-after-court-determines-release-po-1847629251



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