A pet adoption ad has received viral attention after a dog’s foster mother made a website filled with expletives to help find him a suitable forever home.
The tongue-in-cheek page Please Adopt Hank was created by Christine Clauder on July 2 in a bid to find the right person to adopt the dog she describes as a “hellion.”
The ad reads:
While we were parked outside the Red Bull factory, Hank flew into our passenger side and immediately helped himself to our stash of road trip snacks like a teenager raiding the fridge after school. He’s 54 pounds of pure, unadulterated, kinetic energy with eyes like the ocean.
Unfortunately, that ocean also sank the Titanic.
He has so much energy, Governor Abbott called us to see if he could plug the Texas power grid into him.
I chopped his balls off because nobody needs to be subjected to any of his hellspawn.
He knows basic commands such as “sit,” “down,” “shake,” and “why are you so fucking mental, stop chewing on that and get in your f*cking kennel.”
They say eyes are the window to the soul but is it the same when there’s no soul? Kidding. Or am I?
This asshole likes to keep you company, no matter what you’re doing.
Cooking? He’ll f*cking stand in between your legs and trip you up while you’re holding knives.