Requested by Square Grouper
Authorities in Warren, Illinois, are trying to identify an individual who has defecated in at least two vehicles in the last few weeks.
Police first reported an incident at Friendly Auto on Van Dyke, when an unidentified suspect pooped inside a 2009 Chrysler Town and Country. The perpetrator seems to unattended prefer vehicles at local auto repair shops; Twins Tire, also on Van Dyke, was the site of a second incident on February 3.
In the latter case, a security camera spotted the presumed male suspect as he approached a white van, opened the driver’s side door, and squatted inside. Twins Tire later cleaned the vehicle at no further cost to its owner. As yet, law enforcement authorities have made no substantial progress in identifying the suspect. They have reached out to the community for any information that might lead to his arrest.
This is not the first case of a mysterious defecator in the region. In October 2020, Van Buren police were searching for a still-unidentified individual who pooped in a box at a Meijer pharmacy, then returned it to the shelf.
No, it doesn’t taste like chicken.