By ERICA TEMPESTA
A woman has gone viral for sharing videos of her Tinder date shaming her for not sleeping with him on the first date after pressuring her to drink even though she is a recovering alcoholic.
Madison, 25, from Indiana, explained in a series of TikTok videos that she had been talking to the man for about three weeks on the app when they decided to meet up. They were supposed to go to dinner, but when he picked her up, he said they were going back to his place to watch a movie instead.
She told BuzzFeed News that he made her uncomfortable by trying to get her to drink alcohol with him. The date went from bad to worse when he started yelling at her, telling her she shouldn’t be on Tinder if she doesn’t want to ‘f**k.’
‘I’d like to know you better, and I’d like to see you again,’ he told her, patronizingly adding: ‘That’s how adults date on Tinder. They don’t use Tinder to date, they use Tinder to f**k.’
Madison pointed out that she was in the wrong for not stating his true intentions
‘OK, then in your bio, you need to say, “Hey I’m just trying to f**k,’ she explained.
‘If you say that, then you’re not going to get any Tinder match-ups!’ he argued, clearly missing the point.
Madison reiterated that if he was upfront on Tinder he wouldn’t have to lure girls back to his apartment and ‘get s***y’ when they won’t sleep with him.
‘Fair, but I’m telling you, this how it works,’ he responded.
She stressed that ‘this is literally toxic masculinity,’ but he claimed it wasn’t, all while continuing to mansplain her.
‘It’s f***ing reality. Wake up,’ he said. ‘I’m trying to help you. Yes! I’m trying to save you from any more of this.’
The man insisted he was ‘trying to help’ her, and she sarcastically thanked him for sharing his ‘knowledge.’
‘I’m not trying to be some jack*** guy who mansplains things,’ he said, prompting her to point out that was exactly what he was doing.
In a series of follow-up videos, she explained that the date took place in November, and she was able to get out safely.
‘I was sitting because I felt safer to not try to get up and leave while he was standing up like that, but once he sat down, that’s when I decided to get up and leave,’ she said. ‘I got out safely and took an Uber back home.’
She noted that she didn’t plan on going to his house, but when he picked her up from work, he told her they were going to his place to watch a movie.
Madison stressed that in her Tinder bio it explicitly said: ‘Not here for hookups.’
‘We had been talking for three weeks over Tinder, never talked about hooking up or anything like that,’ she said. ‘He was super respectful, so the whole situation sent me.’
In another video, she detailed what happened after she decided to leave, saying she knew it would take her friend too long to get there, so she ordered an Ube. Even though it was the fastest option, it still took 15 minutes to arrive.
‘So at this point, I hadn’t even told him I had ordered it. He had already sat down, so as he sat down, I got up and started walking towards the door,’ she recalled.
‘As I started walking towards the door, he kind of got up and started walking towards the door as well. He made a comment and he said… I don’t remember his exact words, but it caught me off guard. He said, “Well this is why women get R-A-P-E-D.”
‘Excuse me? What?’
Madison said that ‘after he said that, it clicked like, “Oh my god you have to get out of here.”‘
‘I’m in recovery so a lot of people kept asking why I looked really calm, cool, collected. The only answer I can give that is, I’ve been through a lot worse,’ she shared. ‘And I felt comfortable waiting it out and… I knew I could protect myself if it came to that.
‘Once I got to the door, he was like, “I can take you home.” I was like, “Thanks, but I gotta go.”‘
Madison said she ‘booked it’ and ran to the elevator when she realized he wasn’t following her. Her Uber was still 10 minutes away, so she sat and waited in front of the building under a security camera.
When she went to screenshot his Tinder profile, she learned he had already blocked her. The entire time, she was worried he would come down to find her.
‘It was the longest 10 minutes I had ever experienced,’ she said.
The one silver lining was that her Uber driver was ‘super, super sweet’ and told her he just wanted the best for her. She said he was an older man with children around her age, and they talked the entire 30-minute drive.
Madison waited until she got home to post the video of him yelling because she wanted to make sure she was safe. She held off posting the follow-ups about what happened because she had contacted his place of employment to report him.
She never ended up hearing anything from the man or his employer, who later deleted the comments on their Facebook saying they were going to look into the incident.
‘I never heard anything, so he got off with nothing,’ she said. ‘Yeah, makes me sad to think of all the girls he’s done it to.’