by Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: My daughter has been in a lesbian relationship for 14 years. They recently took me to lunch and informed me that her partner, “Nicole,” is in the process of transitioning to a male.
Nicole has now legally changed her name to “Nick” and has begun hormone treatments. They have been going to counseling for the past six months. Since Nick began the transition, I have seen him three times. Last week when I was visiting, I accidentally called Nick by the wrong pronoun, “she” instead of “he” a couple of times. I was either immediately corrected or ignored until I realized I had used the wrong word. It hurt my feelings.
After I got home I sent Nick a text to apologize and explain that it would take time for me to get used to saying “Nick” and referring to him as a he. I told them their correcting me bothered me. All weekend I could tell they were irritated with me, and I felt it was uncalled for.
What do you say? Am I wrong to feel hurt that they haven’t given me a chance to get used to the new name? — MARGARET IN MISSISSIPPI