Yee-haw? More like Yee-NAW! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Texas, but I need to share this with you because this is insane. Don’t ask me why I know this, or how I know this, but I promise it’s mostly true. Let me start by giving you a little background. Back in 1973, the Texas Legislature passed section 42.31 of the Texas Penal Code. This was dubbed as “Obscene Device Law” which prohibited the sale or promotion of obscene devices that are used for stimulation of human genital organs, such as artificial vaginas and sexual devices such as dildos.
The law remains in place despite being found, well, unconstitutional, by a federal appeals court almost a decade ago. The law mainly appears to be aimed at adult performances, since it spells out use in a “play, motion picture, dance, or other exhibition performed before an audience.” The law was written at the time when the US Supreme Court was dealing with obscenity cases and laws from around the country, although it does make an exception for those who have multiples devices for law and medical enforcement purposes.
There haven’t been many people that have been punished under the state law, but there have been a few, like a former teacher and mother of three who was charged with selling a vibrator at a private sex party. She tried to sell the device to a pair of cops who were undercover, pretending to be married. This occurred in 2004, but she was ultimately acquitted. Another incident occurred in 2007, where a lingerie shop in Lubbock, Texas, was rated, and several sex toys were confiscated. The clerk on duty was ultimately arrested, because well, how dare they sell sex toys. Then in 2001, a wife and a husband who just happened to be attorneys tried to extort several of the woman’s lovers using the statue.
The Texas law was updated in 2003 but appears to still include a line saying that it is illegal to own more than 6 dildos. Although it remains on the books, it is unenforceable, since it is declared unconstitutional and no prosecutor would prosecute a person for violating it. So, how exactly did they decide on the 6 as a limit? Well, who knows. I’m guessing whoever proposed the insane law probably did a quick check of their bedroom drawer, counted how many sex toys they had, then just added a couple more just in case. That’s really the only explanation.
This to me seems ridiculous, but at the same time, I really don’t know anyone who has more than at least 3 dildos. 6? That seems like a lot, but hey, you never know, your neighbor might have 12 dildos stashed inside their night drawer. Then again, have you been to Austin? Lone Star State quality!
It’s called variety, people. Sometimes you get bored and just want to spice up your life a little bit during masturbation. Texas is a strange place if you ask me, these lawmakers need to get out of Texans’ sex life once and for all, let them enjoy add dildos if they want to. So what if he or she has 6 dildos, let them live. As far as I know, Texas has bigger problems than worrying about how many sex toys someone has. Let me get Greg Abbott on the phone, brb.