Dear How to Do It,
Before my (F) husband (M) and I were married several years ago, I got him a little butt plug as a gift, not knowing how’d he react, as we had never explored his butt together. When we went to use it, he said he’d rather use one of his toys and pulled a big ol’ bag-o-dongs from the closet. As it turns out, he really loves receiving anal!
I’ll try anything once, or in this case 50 times. We’ve tried butt plugs, dildos, and pegging with a harness and all. We don’t do it very frequently and only when he asks. Since he loves it, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind and learn to like it, but it finally dawned on me that I’m just not into it. I can’t seem to get over the ick factor of butts (poop comes out of there!), even with gloves or in the shower. We could be in the middle of a great sex romp, but the second he wants me to go in the back door … ugh. Butt plugs are ok, but once there’s in and out action, I just can’t. Instead of being turned on, I’m turned completely off. Whatever sexiness I was experiencing is now gone, and all I’m left with is the desire to get him off and get it over with. I’m sure he notices my hesitation, and I feel like a jerk for saying no. I should have broached this with him years ago, but now my fake smile (and fake dick) have been on so long it’s weird to bring up. Is there an expectation that sex should be mutually pleasurable, or at least not a complete turn-off? Should I draw the line at the perineum? Or should I view it as a gift to him and keep on strappin’ it on?