Michelle Obama’s Spotify podcast is truly the gift that keeps on giving. So far, Michelle has used her newest platform to discuss topics such as race in America as well as depression and mental health. Now, she’s talking about something that all 20-somethings could use—relationship and dating advice. (And marriage advice too, if that’s something you need or are looking forward to in the future.)
For the sixth episode of her podcast, Michelle had Conan O’Brien on as a guest where they talked about the differences between men and women when it comes to marriage and how quickly they want to commit. For the record, Michelle “always knew” that she wanted to get married, while Barack was a bit more hesitant because his parents got divorced and his grandparents had a rocky marriage. Conan, on the other hand, said that he wasn’t ready to get married until his late 30s.
“The same is true for me, and I think, a man’s inclination to wait and to kind of go out there and search and get himself ready, I think is a good instinct that more young women should think about,” Michelle said.
Michelle also wants people to view a marriage like creating a basketball team from scratch. (Something tells me this has something to do with Barack playing the sport in college!)
“We’d have better marriages,” she said, adding, “because if you’re looking at a team, the people you want to win with, then number one you want everybody on your team to be strong, right? You don’t want any weak links, you don’t want somebody that you can dominate, you don’t want somebody who’s kind of a loser. Also, if you’re on a team, you’ve got to be able to do everything, especially in basketball, it’s like, you would never pick somebody that says, ‘I only dribble. I don’t shoot, I don’t defend, I just dribble.'”
Continuing her point about choosing some who is strong in all aspects, Michelle said that a person should ideally pick the absolute best person to be with. “You want LeBron [James]. You don’t want the guy, third row on the bench, who didn’t make the team, but we often don’t think about that,” she said. “What you’re supposed to say, is, ‘I have married LeBron. My version of LeBron.'”
But of course, picking the strongest person to be in a relationship with doesn’t mean that things are always going to be sunshine, daisies and rainbows. Michelle said that she’s had her fair share of ups and downs with Barack, and sometimes those rocky periods lasted for a while. She said:
“There were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window. And I say that, because it’s like you’ve got to know the feelings will be intense. But that doesn’t mean you quit. And these periods can last a long time. They can last years. But we don’t talk about that, so young couples, they face these challenges, and they’re ready to give up because they think they’re broken. And, I just want to say, look, if that breaks a marriage, then Barack and I have been broken off and on, throughout our marriage, but we have a very strong marriage. And if I had given up on it, if I had walked away from it, in those tough times, then I would’ve missed all the beauty that was there as well.”
Michelle then left her listeners with some final wise words: “Do you want to build something with someone? There’s no magic way to make that happen, except getting the basics of finding somebody, being honest about wanting to be with them, to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment, to date them, seeing where it goes, and then making it happen,” she concluded. “You can’t Tinder your way into a long term relationship.”
Hope you were taking notes!