The most stupid thing you’ll read today. Compliments of the Chicago Tribune
Two thousand nineteen
Has now lurched to a close
And where we’re all headed
Well, nobody knows.
.
The year that just passed
Left us muddled and grumpy
The news was alarming—
Relentlessly Trumpy.
.
A government shutdown!
The Mueller report!
The president tweeting
His livid retort!
.
And then came the shriek
Of a loudly blown whistle
That rattled the world
like a nuclear missile.
.
Our president talked to
The head of Ukraine?
Said, “Do us a favor”—
To help his campaign?
.
“My phone call was perfect!”
The president pouted
But millions proclaimed
That at last he’d been outed.
.
He cried, “It’s a witch hunt!”—
A cry like a screech—
But Nancy Pelosi
Said calmly: “Impeach.”
.
Our politics felt like
A national tumor
Thank God we could laugh
At the line, “OK, boomer.”
.
The world was unrav’ling—
Or so it could seem
As migrants and refugees
Fled in a stream
.
From Syria, Mexico,
Yemen and more
Escaping from poverty,
Battered by war.
.
The Arctic was melting
The climate was crazed—
While Venice was drowning
The Amazon blazed.
.
Thank God for young Greta,
The passionate Swede
Who warned that we’re wrecking
Our climate with greed.
.
And meanwhile in Paris
Great Notre Dame burned
While over in Britain
The lib’rls were spurned.
.
In Hong Kong the protesters
Fought to be free
Reminding the world
How tough freedom can be.
.
The dangers kept coming:
Look, vaping’s a killer!
And Facebook is spying!
And worse? Stephen Miller!
.
A trade war with China!
Iranian threats!
The menace of Putin!
They gave us the sweats.
.
And shooters ran rampant
In places of prayer
From Christchurch to Poway
Such cries of despair.
.
But all was not hatred
And madness and fear
The universe offered
Much beauty this year.
.
In Congress, more women
Were playing a role
We got our first photo
Inside a black hole.
.
The word of the year
Was the singular “they,”
A him or a her?
It’s whatever they say.
.
These miracles taught us
To never say “can’t”—
Why, look at that burger—
Your meat is a plant.
.
We listened to Lizzo
And muted R. Kelly
And bid “Game of Thrones”
A goodbye on the telly.
.
And here in Chicago,
We got a new story:
The old guard was routed
The new boss was Lori.
.
A breath of fresh air
But a miracle? Not.
The shootings continued
The town reeked of pot.
.
Some pols got indicted
The teachers said, “Strike!”
The mayor’s new budget’s
A thumb in the dike.
.
We stewed over Jussie
(A star of “Empire”)
He claimed an attack
But it seems he’s a liar.
.
The top cop was fired
(The mayor’s tough stance)
Thank God for the fun
of a gator named Chance.
.
Yet life, we remembered,
Can vanish too fast
Whatever the news
It’s assured not to last.
.
To Toni, beloved,
We bid our goodbye
Farewell to Elijah
His death made us cry.
.
So long, Cokie Roberts
So long, Doris Day,
So long to the poet
Who helped us to pray.
.
Her last name was Oliver
(That I should mention)
She taught us that prayer
Is a form of attention.
.
And now our attention
Is on what comes next
Another election—
A hope or a hex?
.
Elizabeth Warren
Says, “I’ve got a plan!”
For some it won’t matter—
They’ll still want a man.
.
But will it be Trump?
Will he fall to defeat?
To Biden or Bernie
Or young Mayor Pete?
.
The future’s a mys’try
Let’s enter with hope
Go boldly and calmly
Don’t let ourselves mope.
.
Remember the future
Will come and then go
And life’s an adventure—
So on with the show.
