Off The Beat: Udderly sour milk caper gets man moooved to jail in Fort Pierce

FORT PIERCE — A man accused of hitting a woman with a half gallon jug of milk wasn’t taken to the land of milk and honey.

Half gallon of milk

Half gallon of milk (Photo: WILL GREENLEE / TCPALM)

Instead, the 57-year-old man was arrested and moooved by Fort Pierce police to the St. Lucie County Jail, according to an affidavit.

The case began Sept.15 at a Dollar General store in the 2500 block of South U.S. 1 in Fort Pierce.

A woman told police that a man was inside cursing and hit her with a milk jug, both of which could be considered udderly bad behavior.

She said the man put a half gallon of milk on the floor and walked out. She said the man came back in and picked up the half gallon of milk, though it’s unclear whether the white, dairy beverage was fat-free, 2% or whole.

She said the man got angry after she told him she couldn’t serve him.

That, according to the affidavit, is when he threw the half gallon of milk across the counter, hitting her in the hand.

“While throwing the milk, (the man) stated you are going to sell me this milk!” the affidavit states.

Such allegations suggest the man was not full of “the milk of human kindness” — the famous phrase from William Shakespeare’s bloody tragedy, “Macbeth.”

Macbeth’s wife, Lady Macbeth, says this about her husband in Act 1 Scene 5 to indicate she thinks he is too much of a nice person to murder the king and seize the throne. The play ends poorly for Macbeth, with his wife killing herself and him getting beheaded.

Meanwhile, back in Fort Pierce, the man accused of throwing the milk was spotted near a Publix and arrested on a battery charge.Get the Storm Watch newsletter in your inbox.

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He was not put out to pasture.

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